WHITE WASHED!

this is the first year that i have truly given an actual effort at completing my new years resolutions. the following things are the things that i wanted to...

"BEGIN IN 2010 AND LEAVE BEHIND IN 2009"

1) stop drinking coffee (or at least try...im addicted!)

2) read a book a month (being outta school for so long is makin my brain light)

3) run a 5k (i havnt seriously worked out in YEARS!...pregnancy and motherhood take a toll on mah body)

4) beat my dad in a tennis match! (he plays religiously so he's really good, but i can tell he's gettin older so i figure now is the time to challenge him)

5) learn to sew (i have about ZERO progress with this one)

6) STOP USING DEROGATORY TERMS!

im sure that there are many of you out there who unintentionally use derogatory terms...i am no exception. i would call someone or something gay or retarded if i didnt like it or if it were imperfect or not the way i wanted it. this is, however, by NO MEANS how i view those who have special needs or are of homosexual orientation. its so easy....so natural for many to use these hurtful terms without any guilt. i know that i get incredibly offended when people use the words "white washed" to describe others, because it's something that ive been called my whole life. every person that has ever called me "white washed" knows NOTHING about me! the term "white washed" is used for individuals who look and act white (or Caucasian), for individuals who have forgotten or abandoned their culture. on the contrary i am 100% proud of my culture and background. i am fully aware that i am seriously incapable of holding a conversation in tongan or samoan (my race)...but if i could go back in time...i would beg my parents to teach me. i now know how important it is to know the language of your ancestors and to know the cultural values of your people. my parents raised me and my siblings more on a premise of excelling in education, therefore we concentrated on math rather than learning tongan. my husband on the other hand grew up in a family where the tongan tradition was pretty strictly enforced. he and his sisters went to class in which they learned to speak the language. i am incredibly proud that my husband speaks so well and i fully intend on having him teach my young children. tongans that call me "white washed" pick on me because i dont know language, but when i DO try...they mock and ridicule me for my pronunciation. i just wish that they would just give me credit for trying and wanting to learn tongan. i think that anyone who would be so ignorant as to intentionally disregard their heritage and culture is someone that would be justly labeled "white washed"...but seeing as though i am proud to be tongan, and i try to speak the language...the fault falls not on myself, but on those who judge me...my HONEST opinion?...dont call me white washed merely because i like to dress nicely,because i wash my hair and because i speak proper english. (yeah....i said it....well...typed it). some of the most judgemental people i have come across in my life happen to be tongan. in no way am i saying that ALL tongans are judgemental, but in my own experience...they just happen to be the majority of my haters. my parents didnt raise me in the tongan culture so i dont know ALL of the rules and whatnot...but i dont mind getting a lesson at all.

what makes me say "huh?" is the hypocrisy of the situation. what happened to "faka apa apa" (i hope that's spelled right...haha)?... the same girls that think that they are 'tongan' enough to call others "white washed" are the ones freak dancing in the clubs (sometimes at church functions!), in scantily clad attire, swearing up storms, gang bangin, shootin up Dollar stores, stealing and acting in promiscuous manners....and if i am not mistaken...all these things go against our Polynesian culture. dont get it twisted...i am not judging...i just want some people to check themselves before they wanna judge others.

my own experiences with derogatory terms make me wanna take a final look at myself...and i challenge all of you out there to remind yourself that you have no right using the words "gay" and "retard" and "fagot" and "b*tch" because although you dont mean any real harm by saying them, it doesnt make them any less insulting.