i LOVE to see the temple...

My husband and i had taken 'temple prep' classes in the beginning of the year (which were long over due). i guess you can say we "graduated" around the end of February possibly the beginning of march and we loved every minute of it...and this past Monday, April 19Th, we got endowed at the salt lake temple. although my husband and i were separate for the majority of the time, i hadn't felt this connected with him in quite a while. it was only the endowment and we chose to do our sealing at a separate date. i felt so emotional the first time i saw my husband sitting there perfectly adorned entirely in white...i simply cannot comprehend the extent of my excitement...my happiness...my pride...my elation nor my joy of the moment they bring my two beautiful daughters out to be sealed to us for all time and eternity.

WHITE WASHED!

this is the first year that i have truly given an actual effort at completing my new years resolutions. the following things are the things that i wanted to...

"BEGIN IN 2010 AND LEAVE BEHIND IN 2009"

1) stop drinking coffee (or at least try...im addicted!)

2) read a book a month (being outta school for so long is makin my brain light)

3) run a 5k (i havnt seriously worked out in YEARS!...pregnancy and motherhood take a toll on mah body)

4) beat my dad in a tennis match! (he plays religiously so he's really good, but i can tell he's gettin older so i figure now is the time to challenge him)

5) learn to sew (i have about ZERO progress with this one)

6) STOP USING DEROGATORY TERMS!

im sure that there are many of you out there who unintentionally use derogatory terms...i am no exception. i would call someone or something gay or retarded if i didnt like it or if it were imperfect or not the way i wanted it. this is, however, by NO MEANS how i view those who have special needs or are of homosexual orientation. its so easy....so natural for many to use these hurtful terms without any guilt. i know that i get incredibly offended when people use the words "white washed" to describe others, because it's something that ive been called my whole life. every person that has ever called me "white washed" knows NOTHING about me! the term "white washed" is used for individuals who look and act white (or Caucasian), for individuals who have forgotten or abandoned their culture. on the contrary i am 100% proud of my culture and background. i am fully aware that i am seriously incapable of holding a conversation in tongan or samoan (my race)...but if i could go back in time...i would beg my parents to teach me. i now know how important it is to know the language of your ancestors and to know the cultural values of your people. my parents raised me and my siblings more on a premise of excelling in education, therefore we concentrated on math rather than learning tongan. my husband on the other hand grew up in a family where the tongan tradition was pretty strictly enforced. he and his sisters went to class in which they learned to speak the language. i am incredibly proud that my husband speaks so well and i fully intend on having him teach my young children. tongans that call me "white washed" pick on me because i dont know language, but when i DO try...they mock and ridicule me for my pronunciation. i just wish that they would just give me credit for trying and wanting to learn tongan. i think that anyone who would be so ignorant as to intentionally disregard their heritage and culture is someone that would be justly labeled "white washed"...but seeing as though i am proud to be tongan, and i try to speak the language...the fault falls not on myself, but on those who judge me...my HONEST opinion?...dont call me white washed merely because i like to dress nicely,because i wash my hair and because i speak proper english. (yeah....i said it....well...typed it). some of the most judgemental people i have come across in my life happen to be tongan. in no way am i saying that ALL tongans are judgemental, but in my own experience...they just happen to be the majority of my haters. my parents didnt raise me in the tongan culture so i dont know ALL of the rules and whatnot...but i dont mind getting a lesson at all.

what makes me say "huh?" is the hypocrisy of the situation. what happened to "faka apa apa" (i hope that's spelled right...haha)?... the same girls that think that they are 'tongan' enough to call others "white washed" are the ones freak dancing in the clubs (sometimes at church functions!), in scantily clad attire, swearing up storms, gang bangin, shootin up Dollar stores, stealing and acting in promiscuous manners....and if i am not mistaken...all these things go against our Polynesian culture. dont get it twisted...i am not judging...i just want some people to check themselves before they wanna judge others.

my own experiences with derogatory terms make me wanna take a final look at myself...and i challenge all of you out there to remind yourself that you have no right using the words "gay" and "retard" and "fagot" and "b*tch" because although you dont mean any real harm by saying them, it doesnt make them any less insulting.

Zero to Sixty in 3 Sec Flat...

ive mentioned in my first blog that the life that i live now, isnt at all how i thought it was going to be. Before all this...i was a naive girl who thought that i would never get married...and just a year later i was married and about to give birth to my first child! i think all newly weds can agree that marriage changes everything...and for the majority of people...the only thing that changes your life more than that...is kids. Before i got married and had kids, i was pretty spoiled...although i never would have admitted it then. i did work every now and then and my dad was really strict...but aside from that, i left my room a mess every morning before school knowing that my mom would clean it to perfection when i arrived in the evening... Christmas had lost its spark because my dad would always get me and my sisters whatever we wanted all year round...i could count on one hand the number of times i had washed the dishes in one month, and those rare times that i actually DID do them, i wasted gallons of water!...i NEVER cleaned the bathroom...i didnt even know how to do my own laundry (i made my one of my good frens in college do my loads). i now look back and hold so much respect for my mom because it was because of her...and her ALONE...that our house was ALWAYS spotless. you'd think that with a house full 'o' girls we would help my mom out, but that wasnt the case. my mom would always yell and scream at us because we had left messes everywhere and just walked away (because we knew that my mom would clean after us)...but my dad always took our side. there were times though that he urged us to clean...and we would...but it would just be a half-ass job. my dad was more focused on our education and volleyball. every once in a while i scrambled some eggs and made some grilled cheese, but that was the extent of my culinary skills. my life was purely school and volleyball...simple as that. and im not gonna lie...i LOVED IT. i got married and it was then that i felt an urge to clean and cook. my husband pointed out how i carelessly was wasting water and proceeded to show me how to wash the dishes while conserving water. i began cleaning our room...but not on a daily basis...nevertheless...i began cleaning. lol. my reality check came when i was pregnant with my first child. mothers always want the best for their children and every time i felt her kicking in my womb i dreamed of becoming the wonder mom that cooked delicious yet healthy meals for her children everyday, that sewed beautiful intricate costumes on Halloween, and that always had a spotless home for visitors. i imagined myself serving tea and cookies on a tray (hey hey hey...we all have dumb dreams)...i wanted to make cookies and cakes from scratch and be able to make up my own "world famous" recipes. My oldest will be turning 2yrs old on the 29th of this month and my youngest will be 8mon and ive almost got the cleaning thing down. i make our bed every morning and vacuum/sweep every other day.and when the girls give me the time, i wash the dishes. i LOVE doing the laundry because Gain Laundry Detergent is my most favorite smell in the world (my mom and husband think i do laundry too much...psht), my number one problem is the BATHROOM!...(dun dun dun)...it just the toilet...it grosses me out.... unless im about to pee my pants...i absolutely REFUSE to use a public restroom...there are some instances where i would just rather pee my pants!...but i try to get it done once a week, so im proud. as for the cooking...i can make some mediocre chicken and pretty good lasagna (pasta's easy), and meatballs. not much progress there, but i will get better! and i will blog throughout my journey to wonder mom. and when i AM able to sew...then y'all are always welcome to request costumes! haha...watch out now...

**ZUMBA**

So my friend sheena invited me to go along with her and her crew to a zumba class on tuesday night and i brought my little sister, maile, along. ive heard alot 'o' good stuff about this Zumba class and i was pretty anxious to check it out. i knew it was some sort of latin dance class...so me and maile were like "shewwwwwt...dancing? this should be pretty easy...but fun"...hahahaha....no! i started the class and trying get all into it... after the first song i was freakin ready to faint. after one song stopped...i was like "phew!" and went for my water bottle...i serously twisted the cap 3 centimeters and the music started again...and i looked up at the instructer and she was back doing the merenge step shuffle thing. are you serious...already! so then we went through some more dancing and at this point i felt like i had acid in my lungs and legs...then the song stopped...i twisted the cap a little more before the next song started. ahhhhh... there was one song where i swear we were in a squatting position for the whole song! i tried my darndest to stay in that "air chair" position for as long as possible but i guess my body slowly started to stand itself and i looked in the mirror and i was standing straight up and my legs were still burning...ouch... and i'm pretty sure it wasnt until the second to last song that i FINALLY twisted my water bottle cap enough to open and get something to drink... i could not completely control my muscles at this time so im sure my shirt drank more than i did. but no one could tell cuz i was sweating pretty bad... i should've taken a towel like sheena! but all in all...the instructer was awesome! and i now know that i should get into some serious shape before i go back to zumba! cuz i went and tried to do the sexy moves like the instructer and looked like i had some serious down syndrome!...and i dont wanna be scared that the instructer is gonna call on me to dance in front of the class... dang...if i saw a video tape of myself doing zumba...then......................i dont even wanna say! lol...not cute!...well...it was a grrrrreat work out...i will definately be goin back! thanks sheena!...

hey yall!

So i've had this blog for a few days now and this is officially my first blog!...im a bit unfamiliar with this whole blogging thing, but i know that i LOVE writing! i guess it would only be fitting for me to introduce myself! haha...even though im sure the only one that is following me is my lil sis Nikki (hey girl! lol). Well, alot of people who know me are usually shocked to find out that i am now married with two baby girls. The truth is that i had never thought much of anything outside of school and volleyball...it was my life and i was perfectly content with it. i was one of those girls who didnt think very much of marriage because i prided myself on being an INDEPENDENT WOMAN. my plan was to stay in college on an athletic scholarship and graduate with my masters in broadcast journalism and be successful. whether or not i got married was not of any importance to me...but then i met him. I had met my husband in the summer before my junior year at Highland High School (GO RAMS!). he was a transfer student from texas and his presence agitated all of the adolescent hormones of the lady rams. of course he was handsome, but i must admit i was guilty of judging a book by its cover. One look at David had me thinking that he was another one of those stuck up, egotistical pretty boys. the constant jabbering about "the new kid from texas" was getting old for me, and it only got worse after school in the locker room. we had mutual friends and ended up hanging out one night and i figured that this guy was pretty cool after all...and thus the beginning of one the most incredible friendships of my life. All of my previous misconceptions were water under the bridge. It took only a single conversation to realize how amazing he is. He was not stuck up, but incredibly humble...the most polite gentleman i had ever met and offered incredible respect. i knew that i could learn alot from him...but i had no idea. a series of unfortunate events occurred and we were not on good terms for the last half of our senior year. he was such a good friend to me and it killed me that i was unable to totally enjoy my high school graduation because of that (like i should have). i remember looking at him from a distance that night and thinking,"wherever he ends up...i wish him luck" we both went off to college and i was back to the Pumpkin that was focused on her schooling and volleyball. after a semester of mistakes, fate brought us back together and after so long...i figured that this guy had put me through so much and still his presence was as strong in my heart and soul as it has always been. i just knew that he was the one for me...my soul mate. fast forward through two beautiful girls, and many ups and downs and here we are. marriage is the HARDEST challenge for me and there are times were i feel like im losing the battle...but what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger!... in one of my favorite movies, "fireproof" (i ABSOLUTELY encourage all married couples to watch this movie!) they say how it is so easy for people to forget the vows they made on their wedding day..."for better, or for worse" but most people only stay through the "for better" and bounce as soon as the "for worse" part comes...every marriage has problems and i truly believe that if both husband and wife have humble hearts...things will always turn out better than before...and when i say "HUMBLE" i dont mean shy or quiet...i mean a heart that is willing to learn i hopes of helping and benefiting family and marriage. i know that i have learned so much from my husband...i know i still have stubborn days (old habits are hard to break...plus...both my parents are extremely stubborn...but that can wait for another blog! lol...stay tuned)...but i truly feel that i have come a long way in a pretty short amount of time.