I Guess I'm Really Buff...

Got my very first massage today!!!..."mum" (meaning David's mom, my mom is "mom"), booked an appointment for me and sissy Catherine to get a massage with this little Thai lady that she's been raving about. needless to say, I was excited...cuz damn, I hecka needed this! [Amen]

I started belly up.

she began with my legs.

Her: Oh my! you have some big quad muscles! hehe

Me: Oh [nervous laughing] yeah. In pretty sure they're bigger than my husband's.

Her: ooooh........yeah. nodding in agreement

Me: [should I have said "thank you"?....heck no...that aint no compliment sheeeewwt. Just gonna close mah eyes and try to enjoy this]

fast forward a half hour

Her: I'll lift the sheet so you can turn over and lie on your stomach

Me: okay! [aaahhh now my back! yay]

Her: I'll start with your legs and work up to your back then your neck and shoulders

Me: sounds great!

Her: eeeerrrgh.....eeeeehhh......uuuuggghhh

at this point I look back as she wipes the sweat from her brow and tries to use every muscle in her body to massage my buff legs.

Me: [c'mon girl...put some back into it]

Her: uh i'm just gonna...

Me: [oh heck no...is she standing on me? dang, my legs must be too big for her.... she gotta get up on the table and walk on my legs]

then she get's down....slightly outta breath

onto my back

Her: ooooh, I can tell you lift weights

Me: [uh no trick, the last time was fricken 4 years ago] hehe....yeah....sometimes.

Her: I can tell, you have a lot of muscle mass back here!

Me: must be from my kids, they're heavier than the average kid.

I came outta there feeling like some huge body building she-man, albeit a relaxed she-man.

You know that sound when you're outta lotion and when your trying to pump out the last bit of it?

I'm pretty sure I heard that noise like 3 times during the massage. I must have depleted her stock of massage lotion.lol....

but hey, that lotion did smell bomb though.